Exactly two years ago at 8pm was the last time I heard travis voice. Like others, our families and our children endured an unexpected loss. It didn’t happen for a reason, God didn’t need him more, it doesn’t happen to make us stronger. It just happened. Our hearts were broken and cannot be fixed.
During my education, I learned about grief and loss. Now experiencing it first hand – I am sorry for how I have treated people or my patients whom have experienced the death of a loved one. People want to help and make it better. Grief does not get better. Nothing can make it better. What has happened cannot be made right. What is lost cannot be restored.
Everyone is there immediately after the death and then they are gone. The loneliness is deafening. The pain is gut wrenching. We don’t move forward, we don’t move on. Our lives are forever changed. There is a void that will never be filled. The grief is forever- we live alongside the grief- it never goes away. The reality of grief is far different from what others see from the outside. You need someone to acknowledge your grief. It cannot be fixed. Everything changes. The life we expected disappears. Life was normal and now it’s anything but normal. Telling the truth about grief is the only way; our loss is as bad as we think it is. There are no words, no language, and we as a society don’t talk about it.
Grief is a part of life – it is hard- it is tiring – suffocating – it is an extension of our love. We need to start talking about it- everyone lives- everyone dies. Death is a reality of life. Grief is a reality of death and love.
We need to start talking about grief. When we most need the love and support- there is nothing- what is available falls short of what we need. We have to start telling the truth about this kind of pain, grief, love and loss.
Loss can be horrifying. In order to survive- to find a life – we need to start telling the truth. When we acknowledge that this is really as bad as we think it is, maybe we can start talking about living with grief.
All my love to you TWV💙👼🏼